Robert Okaji < Back to Breakthroughs Issue TRIGGER ALERT Robert Okaji 00:00 / 00:53 TRIGGER ALERT Robert Okaji Trigger alert: I'm dying. I am dying , and nothing will change that, not philosophy, not chemicals, not will. Not even the sky nor the ground it beguiles somewhere out of sight. Consider the horizon as loneliness, as line curved through eyeshot and smoke. As nexus of sun and diagnosis. Of relief and slumber, the pain in my wife's smile when she kisses me goodnight. I am dying , and I cannot picture the universe without me, or me, nonexistent, bodiless, simply not here. "Trigger Alert" first appeared in Stone Circle Review . I wrote the poem about four months after receiving a diagnosis of late-stage metastatic lung cancer, a terminal illness. It's one thing to be told you're dying, and another to admit to yourself that your being is indeed finite, that one day, not far off, you'll no longer smell the morning coffee, you'll not feel your wife's body next to yours in bed, you won't cheer for the inept Dallas Cowboys, you won't do anything, you will not be anything, you simply will not exist. Previous ROBERT OKAJI has late-stage metastatic lung cancer, which he finds terribly annoying. His poetry may be found in Threepenny Review , Vox Populi, and other venues. robertokaji.com Next

Without Question I Am by Mike White The blind man on the crowded night bus, tap-tapping his way toward a dark window mirroring the lot of us, refusing with a brisk wave of his hand my hand, which he knows without question I am offering. Share: Facebook X (Twitter) Copy link Back Back to First Issue First published in One . I thought this to be a suitable poem to (re)publish in a magazine dedicated to the nomadic life. True, the distance traveled in the poem is modest, but I was interested in the ways that we often discover ourselves in strange places (like a bus in the middle of the night!), places where the familiar boundaries separating inside and outside, self and other, are wonderfully permeable. .................................................................................................................................................................................... MIKE WHITE is the author of How to Make a Bird with Two Hands (Word Works, 2012) and Addendum to a Miracle (Waywiser, 2017), winner of the Anthony Hecht Poetry Prize. Next - The First Time I Saw Snow by Jeff Talmadge Next

Hiroshi Tanahashi by Jerry VanIeperen echoes travel across the icy sea foam in cherry blossom sundown the Dome crowd quakes Hiroshi Tanahashi leaps from the top rope falling in love, frog-splashed against the mat in magnitudes in cherry blossom sundown the Dome crowd quakes Tanahashi wasn’t born a constellation falling in love, frog-splashed against the mat in magnitudes all the neon signs illuminate the borders of ropes Tanahashi never born a constellation when the world swoons in uncharted patterns of lava and stars all the neon signs illuminate the borders of ropes the sweat and spectacle captured in a camera’s eye when the world swoons in uncharted patterns of lava and stars Hiroshi Tanahashi leaps from the top rope the sweat and spectacle captured in a camera’s eye Tanahashi echoes a constellation over the icy sea Share: Facebook X (Twitter) Copy link Back Back to First Issue I arrived at a point of liberation where I decided I was going to write poetry about pro wrestling—former Utah Poet Laureate David Lee said that may be the greatest oxymoron of his time, which I took as encouragement. I watched wrestling with my grandpa, it was the topic that got me back in touch with a dear friend after years apart, and it was also common ground, for a time, I shared with my son. So, it’s fairly meaningful to me, and I’m especially proud of how this poem about a Japanese pro wrestler turned out. .................................................................................................................................................................................... JERRY VANIEPEREN lives heartily in Utah with two children, two dogs, and one wife. He earned an MFA from the University of Nebraska and was a founding editor of the poetry journal Sugar House Review . Next - Pissing Towards the Sky by Jerry VanIeperen Next

Before Thirty by Patrick Ramsay I streak through a golf course in nectarine light and self-destruct a little bit. Not in a Salamander Letter type of way, but like an old truck whose engine blows right after the warranty is up. I cancel the party. Detonate my relationship. Call in sick. Call my old therapist with the tattoos. Ask him if he’s still engaged. Send up a flare. Can’t believe it’s taken me this long to realize the word hello and help are one autocorrect away from twinhood. I kiss everyone. Kiss goodbye to my savings account. Greet one thousand new hobbies with the fervor of a young dog. Tongue out. I only have so much time left to be reckless in my twenties. I was twenty-eight the first time a twink told me he loves older guys. This. This is why all the queens call thirty gay death. I feel too young, too childless, too cut loose to be someone’s daddy. But maybe he was right. My mortgage, the chicken coop, the poodle-mutt rescue dog. I used to be stupid. Gloriously, aimlessly stupid. But at some point along the way: A bungalow, a career, a real live-with-me, go-to-weddings-and-farmers-markets-together partner. Someone must have tricked me. Tricked me into learning what a 401k is. What a deductible is. How to become interested in interest rates. I’m going to be sick. Sick and grown up forever. And thirty is a perfectly fine age. It’s the death of the I did this in my twenties thing that I’m mourning. Who damned me to grow up this fast? To man before I really was done boying. This is the part where I’m supposed to assure you that a job can be a dream, and mowing your own lawn, also a dream. But gut laughs, mushroom trips, occasional sex with strangers—also, also a dream. I know I know, that growing older grows on you, but youth is a temporary meadow with soft scruff, and I guess this is the long way of saying I’m afraid of losing something I didn’t know was worth anything. Anyway, call me when you get this. Need to borrow your drill again. Share: Facebook X (Twitter) Copy link Back Back to First Issue This unpublished poem came out fully formed, like a platypus frog or a nervous confession. I was one week from turning thirty and wrestling with what that meant. As a gay man, aging is such a prickly arena, and many men treat thirty like a sunset of their dewy youth. This poem reflects on all the glorious stupidities of my twenties and what it means to realize (maybe a little too late) that you might just have become a man before you were really done boying. And I still don’t own a drill. .................................................................................................................................................................................... PATRICK RAMSAY is a queer poet & owner of the indie shop Happy Magpie Book & Quill. He explores land, community & heart in Ogden, Utah. patrickramsaypoet.com Next - Still Life with Mormons in My Living Room by Paul Fericano Next

July for Dylan, April 20, 1989 - July 7, 2013 by Shanan Ballam April isn’t the cruelest month. That would be July, the month you died, when asphalt gleamed heat and construction cones lined the lanes on the break-neck freeway— I slumped in the back like a sack of trash as our sisters and I raced tear-blind to the scene, bodies flung side-to-side as we whipped in and out of traffic, tires screeching, only to stand stunned, worthless, gagged with Dad’s cigarette smoke— oh—I can still hear him sobbing in the scorching garage. In April, crocus spear through soil, open pale purple, thin as tissue paper, lacewings luxuriating in the saffron like cats rolling on their backs in the sun. In April, the lilacs’ tiny blossoms, hard as oysters, begin to soften, and when they open, iridescent frills the color of pearls, their fragrance drifting through the windows, sheer curtains shimmering. Maybe if I’d called you to say I’m worried, I love you, You could have said Help me. Dad won’t. In the cement basement I saw the message you scrawled on the wall: Why won’t it rain? I saw your self-portrait in black spray paint. You blacked-out your own awful eyes. The anniversary creeps closer, hobbled, like a baby buggy with one wheel missing. July is cruelest because I still must drive past the hospital where the doctor pronounced you dead, past the chapel, its gold and crimson windows, past the Wal-Mart and the Maverik where you bought your beer and cigarettes, past the woman with the dead baby’s footprints tattooed on her breast, and down there near the tracks: sagebrush, vodka bottles, and a single sego lily, basin blushed ruby red. Oh July—you emergency! July with your wildfire heart. But I drive past the field silvered with sprinkler mist where the two painted horses bend their graceful faces to the grass, their black manes shining in the falling sun, shining like your black hair in the obituary picture. This time I’ll stop the car, and we will walk to horses who know only this emerald field, its musky soil, know only the sky spreading its deep indigo, and we’ll pull up clumps of silky grass. See how they move toward us, bodies glistening as the day disintegrates. Together we'll touch the sleek gloss of their manes, their velveteen noses, see deep into peace, their wet ebony eyes. We'll stand together in the lavender light as the horses pull sweet grass from our hands. Share: Facebook X (Twitter) Copy link Back Back to First Issue My youngest brother Dylan Thomas drank himself to death at age 24. This poem is my favorite unpublished piece because it takes so many surprising turns and utilizes different tones—panic and calm. It contains surprising comparisons: the anniversary of his death compared to a baby buggy with one wheel missing and comparing July to a wildfire. I like how it contrasts April and July—extreme heat and early, raw spring—and uses connotations from Eliot’s famous poem, “The Wasteland.” .................................................................................................................................................................................... SHANAN BALLAM is the author of the poetry manuscripts The Red Riding Hood Papers (Finishing Line Press, 2010), Pretty Marrow (Negative Capability, 2013), Inside the Animal (Main Street Rag, 2019), and the chapbook first poems after the stroke (Finishing Line Press, 2024). shananballam.org Next - Missa Brevis by Kimberly Johnson Next

Sacrament Meeting Started the Three Hours of Church on Sunday by Natalie Padilla Young A friend taught her how to pass the time: flip through the hymn book and add “in the bathtub” after any song title: How Great Thou Art…in the Bathtub Now Let Us Rejoice…in the Bathtub Did You Think to Pray in the Bathtub? Know This, That Every Soul Is Free in the Bathtub. An hour of speeches broken up by hymns, prayers and eating Christ’s blood and body (blessed, white Wonder Bread and a doll’s cup of water for each worthy member). She no longer sits through church meetings or questions her questioning, though often hums those hymns around the house, slips holy ingrained choruses into a tub of hot water. Ears immersed, she can hear the sounds of her own choir. The heart’s bahdum, bah-dum bahdum, too fast for its own good. Rejoice a Glorious Sound Is Heard…in the Bathtub. From a gurgle to a shout, rustling empty stomach. Whooshes of breath tunnel in and out. Hard enough to simply sit still, then left to a porcelain amphitheater— Where Can I Turn for Peace? In the bathtub thoughts thud and whirl. Come Along, Come Along With All the Power of Heart and Tongue. Maintenance of this submerged body too tough, too much Master the Tempest Is Raging. Not enough still, small whisper: Ye Simple Souls Who Stray Let Us All Press On. Share: Facebook X (Twitter) Copy link Back Back to First Issue First published in The Wax Paper and All of This Was Once Under Water (Quarter Press, 2023). I’m terrible at picking a favorite of almost anything, so I chose this previously published because I am proud of the craft. It does a lot of lifting to fill what was a gap in the manuscript/book, combining humor and religion, while helping to flesh out one of the main characters. .................................................................................................................................................................................... NATALIE PADILLA YOUNG co-founded and manages Sugar House Review . Author of All of This Was Once Under Water (Quarter Press, 2023). natalieyoungarts.com Next - Teddy Thompson Croons Leonard Cohen by Natalie Padilla Young Next

The Concrete Poet by Jim LaVilla-Havelin I. this is the first trans mission of the con crete poet report on exhibit at co-op gallery no press release no postcard no crackers no brie II. the alter native paper critic who is sometimes too smart for words but still uses them found her way there wrote: “_______ has found an alphabet of disaster.” III. somewhere between the calligraphic epics of Cy Twombly the incised mud-silica of Dubuffet the Rosetta Stone and J.G. Ballard’s CRASH IV. was this my fifteen minutes of fame? hiding in the basement while the police streamed through the sleek gallery asking everyone my name, my des cription, my whereabouts V. the art critic for the daily who also reviews restaurants, books, and covers the auto show describes them as “a grammar of happenstance or perhaps mishappenstance” VI. I don’t know when I first began to see them as messages scraped by metal onto barriers stories in stone VII. out with the truck with the pneumatic lift cones, flashers the jackhammer and the blow torch it comes to me we’re not in art school any more more dangerous than pastels VIII. it is the opposite of graffiti I remove de-construct re-contextualize present an outlaw aesthetic that makes art-speak go tongue-tied IX. I am so tired of the language meta phor I went to the wall to escape words I hacked out these sections of barrier to see silence as much as any markings deaths or near scrapes with it may have left I’m not telling stories I’m hammering away at walls Share: Facebook X (Twitter) Copy link Back Back to Current Issue THE CONCRETE POET is the third volume of a five-book sequence. Though this section was written in 2010, the book is just now (2024) reaching its conclusion. This was the first section I wrote. It’s a favorite because it lays out some of the extent of what the long poem will include. A road map? A first shot of a voice? A catalogue of possibilities. .................................................................................................................................................................................... JIM LAVILLA-HAVELIN is the author of eight books of poetry, including two forthcoming in 2025, Mesquites Teach Us to Bend (Lamar University Press, 2025) and A Thoreau Book (Alabrava Press, 2025). He is the co-editor of the Houston University Press, Unsung Masters volume on Rosemary Catacalos (2025) and as Literary Executor for Catacalos’ estate, he is assembling her unpublished work for a volume Sing! . An educator, editor, and community arts activist for over 50 years, LaVilla-Havelin coordinates National Poetry Month activities in San Antonio. Awarded the City of San Antonio’s Distinction in the Arts for Literary Art, he teaches at The Cyndi Taylor Krier Juvenile Correctional Treatment Center for Gemini Ink’s Partners Program, teaches senior citizens in the Go Arts Program through Bihl Haus Cultural Arts, and high school students as Poet in Residence at the Young Women’s Leadership Academy. Next - Bruce by J. Diego Frey Next

Foley Catheter by Kimberly Johnson I clean its latex length three times a day With kindliest touch, Swipe an alcohol swatch From the tender skin at the tip of him Down the lumen To the drainage bag I change Each day and flush with vinegar. When I vowed for worse Unwitting did I wed this Something-other-than-a-husband, jumble Of exposed plumbing And euphemism. Fumble I through my nurse’s functions, upended From the spare bed By his every midnight sound. Unsought inside our grand romantic Intimacy Another intimacy Opens—ruthless and indecent, consuming All our hiddenmosts. In a body, immodest Such hunger we sometimes call tumor; In a marriage It’s cherish. From the Latin for cost. Share: Facebook X (Twitter) Copy link Back Back to First Issue Originally published in Poem-a-Day on January 15, 2020, by the Academy of American Poets. From Fatal (Persea Books, 2022). I’m not sure this poem qualifies as a “favorite,” frankly, because it deals with such difficult material. But I think that it’s effective in its willingness to reflect honestly on the combination of tenderness and brutality that eventuates when we choose to enter into relationship with others. Love brings along with it the opportunity, the promise, of one party seeing the other into their death, bearing witness to the horrors of that inevitability as well as the intimacies it produces. .................................................................................................................................................................................... KIMBERLY JOHNSON is a poet, translator, and literary critic. Her work has appeared widely in publications including The New Yorker, Slate , The Iowa Review , PMLA , and Modern Philology . Recipient of grants and fellowships from the John Simon Guggenheim Memorial Foundation, the National Endowment for the Arts, the Utah Arts Council, and the Mellon Foundation, Johnson holds an M.A. from the Johns Hopkins Writing Seminars, an M.F.A. from the Iowa Writers’ Workshop, and a Ph.D. in Renaissance Literature from the University of California at Berkeley. Kimberly Johnson lives in Salt Lake City, Utah. kimberly-johnson.com Next - Among by Cynthia Hardy Next

Nancy Takacs < Back to Breakthroughs Issue SWEET PEAS Nancy Takacs 00:00 / 02:00 SWEET PEAS Nancy Takacs Some would say just a noxious weed taking over that bare space where I put some seeds two summers ago in the meadow beyond my garden. ~ This year vines crazy with rosy heads, each blossom scored like two wings over labial hoods, seeds held under, hidden, waiting to drop. ~ I cut some from tangled vines for my kitchen table, to breathe their cool fire on the cloth embroidered by a Croatian woman, her flowers in purple floss straight-stitched, faces with eyes in between wide-open butterfly wings. ~ Her tablecloth swirls under my salad – the woman, her daughters and sisters living in that small wild country I flew to, its border fought over for decades, its past and its future haunted by torture and rape. ~ Each frigid winter our tour guide Marija said women embroider, embroider hundreds of daisies, sweet peas, bees, and Monarchs, prick fingers, careful their blood does not ruin the linen. Tablecloths like my Hungarian grandmother once made, just twenty, thirty dollars blowing on clotheslines on the bank of the Danube. A crucifix around each woman’s neck as they exhale cigarette smoke, some holding babies, bartering with us, begging us Buy another! to dress our foreign tables with their blossoms and wings. ~ I buy five with dollars they hold close, empty my suitcase so I can fit them in. How can I not fly them back across the dark waters of our terrifying world? This poem came to me long after a solo trip to countries near the Danube. It has gone through many revisions, but I always kept the ending. In a sense, the poem is connected to my love of embroidery that my Hungarian immigrant grandmother taught me. Little did I know at that time, this art was a way for women to make a living, and that the Hungary she left when she was sixteen, to come to America, was a scary place, easily taken over and over again. I learned this much later on. The embroidered cloths are emblematic of the women’s protection of their families, earning money to keep the wolves away, or if possible, to travel to “safer” places. They depend on tourism to live, getting their beautiful artful cloths into the hands of other women. The breakthrough comes as the poem progresses, a realization by the speaker that her privilege is fragile. She must support women any way she can. Dominion over women around the world is happening in devastating ways now in our own country, and sadly, it is imminent everywhere. Previous NANCY TAKACS 'S newest book, A Whispering Beetle (Broadstone Books), will be published in 2027. Her latest book is Dearest Water (Mayapple Press, 2022) . She lives in Wellington, Utah. nancytakacs.org Next

ALIEN EXCHANGE PROGRAM - HOST APPLICATION by Naomi Ulsted It’s extremely important that we choose a good host match for our aliens. This is the inaugural year of our Alien Exchange Program where we hope to facilitate mutual learning and understanding of these new neighbors we’ve discovered. Please answer the following questions honestly. 1. Do you plan to turn over your exchange student to the Federal government or any other for-profit or not-for-profit organization planning to conduct experimental exploration on our exchange student? Yes (you may turn in your application now) x No (go on to the next question) 2. Even if they offer you extremely large sums of money? Yes (you may turn in your application now) x No (go on to the next question) 3. How did you hear about the Alien Exchange Program? It was at the mall. Which is odd because I hardly ever go to the mall. I find the mall suffocating, with the cloying Cinnabon scent, the crowds of women flocking Bath and Body Works, the teenage boys cruising the walkways with slouching bravado. Not to mention that since our species have taken to using semi-automatic weapons with bump stocks to gun down large numbers of each other in public spaces, I’ve been especially reluctant to visit the mall, a concert, a movie, or any other crowded area. If I had the money, I’d pay for the virtual reality mall, where I could turn off the Cinnabon smell and if someone gunned down my avatar, I could just respawn somewhere else. But like most people in my social circles, I can’t afford that luxury. I won’t tell my alien how we like to kill each other here. That day I was in desperate need of a new pair of sand boots, so I threw my Glock in my purse, hefted myself into my bullet proof vest and headed out to the mall. I found the Alien Exchange Kiosk right next to the kiosks where young, beautiful men call out to middle-aged women like myself, offering samples of lotion and salt scrub. They’ll apply it themselves if you let them, rubbing your skin with their smooth hands. They can always sense their customer. We’re the ones wearing jeans from a decade ago. Our faces show we haven’t grasped the concept of contouring. We’re the ones with credit cards with high limits. If I could afford the virtual reality mall, I’d use a male avatar carrying a broadsword. Those lotion guys wouldn’t mess with me then. As it is, I try to walk in the aisle far from them, pretending I don’t hear them targeting me. As I passed by the Alien Exchange Kiosk, it placed images of the aliens’ planet into my mind. The planet’s surface was iridescent green and lush, not parched and withered like this one. As I came closer, the Kiosk’s smooth marketing voice resonated in my head asking, Do you have a thirst for adventure? Do you want to connect with another world? I thought about the words. I wanted to connect. 4. Have you experienced inter-stellar travel? (We know that only the top 1% of the country can afford inter-stellar travel. Or a house in the suburbs. Or post-secondary education. So if you choose, you can speak to international travel in your response to this question, as opposed to inter-stellar travel.) I have not experienced inter-stellar travel. When I was in college, I took out extra student loans so I could drink my way through a series of European pubs, but since I’ve grown older and more mature, I’ve redistributed my debt to involve less travel. Not less alcohol, mind you, but expenses in the form of living quarters, an iPhone, elementary curriculum feeds for the kids. Every day is planned and routine. When I traveled, I didn’t have plans. I woke up and perused a map over coffee. I shouldered my backpack and delved into the unknown. Now, when my alien comes to stay with me, we’ll have coffee in the morning. I don’t know if my alien wants scrambled egg protein for breakfast. I don’t know if my alien will even eat or if she’ll have an enlarged forehead and horizontal ovals for eyes, like in the old science fiction movies. I hope my alien isn’t slimy, but if she is, I’ll put a towel down on the kitchen chair. Come to think of it, I don’t even if know if my alien is female. Even we are evolving past binary constructs, but still, part of me hopes she’s female, like I’m still identifying. But I do know that as we regard one another in my kitchen, it will be like looking at that map in the morning, shouldering my backpack and hiking into the world of possibility. 5. While your alien is staying with you, we’d like him/her/them to feel as though he/she/they are a part of the family. Unless your family is completely dysfunctional, which may cause the alien to deliver a negative report about humans to his/her/their superiors. In what family events do you plan to involve your alien? In my extended family, there are no more weddings. The siblings have been married at least once, sometimes twice. Actually, we’re excited about a pretty big divorce happening soon. I’m hoping my alien can attend our divorce party after the trial. She can help me roll canapés and pour champagne to celebrate a new beginning. She can give us an alien blessing of some kind. A special symbol from her culture of a new start. She can stand or hover or whatever she does, in the circle with us, exchanging hugs. Of course, if the trial doesn’t go well for us, then I’ll keep my alien away from that function. My sister will return home to seek solace in one of her many online worlds. She’ll don her dragon slayer skin or a pull up her sexy spy avatar and forget about what just happened. My other siblings will sit and scroll through their phones like normal. But I will come home to my alien to see her playing Connect 4 with my children. We’ll make root beer floats and play charades and I will laugh and laugh, and forget the world is burning around me. 6. We want our alien participants to enjoy their time with you and the wonderful attractions our world has to offer, although we don’t want them to enjoy our world so much that they decide to come down here and colonize us. Can you speak to the types of attractions you plan to show your alien? Over a decade ago, I spent many afternoons downtown. I rode the city bus to the bookstore where I worked alongside the bookstore collie dog, re-organizing the New Age section and looking for attractive book covers to face out. For my lunch, I brought my cheese and pickle sandwich out to the park square. The benches were shiny burnished metal. The water from a bronze fountain depicting two leaping salmon sparkled in the sunlight. A pigeon gave me the side eye and cooed questioningly at my sandwich. Across the street, the theater marquis advertised the current production. I only made minimum wage at the bookstore and couldn’t afford shows, but being downtown in front of the theater, in the midst of the park blocks surrounded by sharply dressed business professionals made me feel like I was a part of something important. I would like to show my alien that place. She could relax in the bookstore, the dog sniffing her curiously. I’d buy her a book on chakras. She could reach her hand, or her appendage or appendages, out to the water in the fountain and splash with the children who wouldn’t be afraid of her, because they’re children who don’t fear things yet. I’d like to take her there, but it’s different now. I unplugged my children from their entertainment feeds recently and dragged them down there to see an actual show with real human actors in that theater I can now afford because most people prefer to escape home through their virtual reality systems. Bookstores are long gone and only Outside Dwellers have real dogs, since most people can afford a virtual pet. After the show, a nostalgic production that featured an old-style public school before institutionalized public education put children’s lives at risk, my children dragged me toward the salmon fountain. The water hasn’t run in it since the shortage years ago. Pigeons scavenged through the cracked and grimy tiles of the fountain without giving us a second thought. There were several Outside Dwellers lounging around the park square. Most Outside Dwellers are harmless. Scruffy and stinky for lack of water or dry soap, bare feet black with city filth, muttering stories that make sense only to themselves. That day several of them shared a six pack of 4 Loco. But you never know when a group of Outside Dwellers may be shooting up, not just smoking weed. Or when the story one of them is living in his mind may paint you as a threat. My kids wanted to play with the pigeons and my boy jumped from bench to bench, until I dragged them both away from the city square and the Outside Dwellers. We went back home where I hooked them up to their entertainment feeds again, nice and safe. If I took my alien there, she probably wouldn’t be afraid, like I am. She’d likely even sit down next to one of those Outside Dwellers, joining him on the grungy bench and sharing a 4 Loco. Maybe with her next to me, I’d be brave enough to hang out with the Dwellers, sharing stories and watching the light change as the sun dipped down into the smoggy sky and then dropped behind the towering skyscrapers. Twilight would fall like it’s fallen every evening, regardless of who is sitting in the city square, be it an Outside Dweller, an alien, or me. 7. There are hundreds of applicants for the Alien Exchange Program. In what way are you an especially good fit for this program? As I sit here in my living quarters, inputting these answers, I guess I can think of lots of people who might be a better fit. The families with money to take the alien to the places in our world that are still beautiful. Places with waterfalls, lakes, and piped in rain. I ’ve heard they still exist in some areas and the top 1% get to immerse themselves in those lakes, feel the spray of the waterfall on their bare arms. But when I was 13, I watched E.T. in the movie theater. Later, I watched more gruesome depictions of extraterrestrials, like those in Aliens, but my heart stayed with that waddling big-eyed, neck-stretching E.T. At night, even though I was 13 and knew better, I held up my finger to the window and searched the sky. I imagined my finger lighting up like Elliot’s and I reached it up toward the stars in search of an alien. Decades later, I know she’s up there, her own finger shining brightly. Please send me my alien. I need to meet her. Your application will be reviewed, and you will hear from us in four to six weeks. Should your application be selected for further consideration, alien placement will be contingent upon a home visit to ensure you can provide adequate facilities. This includes a fully functioning hydration pod, as aliens cannot adjust to our arid climate. You will also need to demonstrate bandwidth and networking links capable of reaching the alien’s home planet. Your signature will be required on our “Liability Waiver Contract” where you will agree to indemnify and hold harmless the Alien Exchange Program should you personally befall any harm from or as a result of actions taken by the alien. Thank you for your interest in the Alien Exchange Program. Share: Facebook X (Twitter) Copy link Back Back to First Issue Originally published in The New Guard . I love this piece because even though it's been five years since its original publication, it still feels just as relevant, both to the state of our society and to me personally, as it did then. It still feels as though we are searching for a connection that has proven difficult to find in this environment of fear and distrust. I had so much fun diving into this darker theme using the format of an application. .................................................................................................................................................................................... NAOMI ULSTED writes young adult fiction and personal essays. She is the author of The Apology Box (Idle Time Press, 2021). naomiulsted.com Next - A Twist of the Vine by Naomi Ulsted Next

Acrostic Lifeboat Take words with you and return to God. Hosea 14:3 by Maureen Clark The bug zapper flashes Morse code, A spark for each dot and dash - saying - pay attention. Words are being Kindled from these fried insects. The rise and fall of empires depend on Each death. Our elliptical orbit brings another year of language. Why would you take words to return to God? Why not bundles of wheat? Oil in clay jars? Fresh baked bread. Why not take salt? Red wine, purple cloth, things more like worship? Depending on the alphabet is risky with its creation of ambiguity Scratched onto vellum, paint on papyrus, so much lost in translation. Poems Written on napkins and grocery receipts. I can’t deny that I’m compelled, enticed even, To thrust my fingers into a bowl of letters and return Holding on for dear life, writing ‘lifeboat’ just in time, Yielding to the possible safety of the right word. Only language can tell our stories. Some letters generate echoes of the Utterly haunting past, mistakes, the resonance of the earth. Any word can be a talisman. I’ve always wanted to Nail down how civilization evolved into writing. I want to write the word Dromedary because the cadence mirrors the way it moves. Ridiculous of course, but I’d ride that one-hump camel to the oasis any day. Even the unvoiced desire can eventually be put into words, and spells To cure warts, whip up a tempest, make a magic potion. Unless words carry different weights like numbers and can be Rounded up or down. Someone show me the runes! Never mind, I’ve wandered off again, Too full of questions that can’t be answered Overwhelmed with finding a word to rhyme with orange, Grappling with the alphabet, the number of syllables in a perfect line, One too many or needing one less. It’s futile. Please take my words God, Do whatever it takes to return to me. Share: Facebook X (Twitter) Copy link Back Back to Current Issue First published in Utah Lake Stories: Reflections on a Living Landmark (Torrey House Press, 2022). I like to try different poetic forms. I had never tried the acrostic in a serious endeavor, but I found it to the be right fit for this poem and the idea of creating words as a means of returning to God. I also liked how it allowed me to turn the phrasing around so that God needed to return to me. .................................................................................................................................................................................... MAUREEN CLARK retired from the University of Utah where she taught writing for 20 years. She was the director of the University Writing Center from 2010-2014, and president of Writers@Work from 1999-2001. Her poems have appeared in Colorado Review , Alaska Review , The Southeast Review , and Gettysburg Review among others. Her first book is This Insatiable August (Signature Books, 2024). Next - The Afternoon on the Sava by Scott Abbott Next

< Back to Breakthroughs Issue THE LONG HAUL Shanan Ballam The black ribbon of highway unfurls before us. It is well past midnight. The stroke and I are driving a semi on a three-year road trip. We are exhausted, sticky, smelly and stiff from the long, stale ride. We haven’t been out of the truck for hours and hours. We haven’t had a chance to stretch our legs. We are both wearing black plastic AFO’s that makes our right legs numb. Our bladders ache. We have no idea if or how it ends. We don’t know where we’re going. We just know we must drive. Because that’s all we know how to do. We must keep moving. But we don’t know why. The situation is so confusing. Every time I turn my head when I think I see the answer it dissipates like smoke. The stroke is driving. Bleary-eyed the stroke turns the wheel over to me. The seat is warm where the stroke sat. I take the sweaty wheel in my grip. We’re hauling precious cargo, dragging its heavy load behind us like a tail. In the trailer we carry all our grief. We can’t afford to lose this load. I drive carefully through the night. The stroke sleeps in the passenger seat. I drive until the white morning sun seeps through the cab windows. I glance at the stroke. She has brown hair and is wearing my red shirt. When she lifts her sleepy head I see she has my brown eyes— my nose and my mouth— she even has my four moles high up on her cheek, that look like the basin of the big dipper. She is me me me. She has been me all along. We know what we have to do: together we unhitch the heavy trailer of our grief. We leave it at a grimy truck stop in the middle of nowhere. The stroke says I’ll drive— but the words come from my mouth. I have written several poems about my stroke, comparing it to a horse that falls on my chest, a rat, my abusive stepfather, my drunk brother-in-law who molested me. The stroke is always an enemy. This poem was the first time I saw that the stroke was actually me—had always been me. This idea was a breakthrough, to see the stroke not as an adversary, but as myself. Previous SHANAN BALLAM is the author of the poetry manuscripts The Red Riding Hood Papers (Finishing Line Press, 2010), Pretty Marrow (Negative Capability, 2013) , Inside the Animal (Main Street Rag, 2019) , and the chapbooks first poems after the stroke (Finishing Line Press, 2024) and My Paper Boat (Moon in the Rye Press, 2026). shananballam.org Next